She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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