no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
