They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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