Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
