I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
