You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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