Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I smell stomach acid.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
