now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
