Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
