PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
