There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
