please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
