im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
