is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
