If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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