Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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