I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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