all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
