I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
