He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
