I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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