by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
