..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
