I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
