does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
