so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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