That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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