Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
