just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
