there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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