Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
