it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
