I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
