they need to just BURY HIM!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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