im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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