I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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