I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
