I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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