you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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