All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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