Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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