Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
