Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
