I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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