your parents love me but you hate me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
