You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
