But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
