just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
