I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize