What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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