found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize