who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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