come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
