jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
