if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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