I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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