Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
