I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize