You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
