p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
