You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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