it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
third nipple confirmed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
