With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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