the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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