Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
