that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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